Insoniac Musings

i'm altogether not a very practical person, but occasionally something will come along that just drives me insane. like people who have those lamps that carry the option of three different settings, yet the bulbs only allow for on and off. that's not the part that upsets me. but the people who have these lamps should know by now that two turns of the switch is necessarily to activate them, yet every time they turn it once, look at it like it's from another world, and turn it a second time. you know how you can tell? it always takes two turns to activate. if they were able to accept this, chances are, they would automatically turn it twice everytime and eventually they'd probably realize that it's less disturbing on the psyche if they would set it in such a way that the first turn would activate the light, while the second would only save them from the dissettlement of futility, which is the way i feel everytime i turn these switches and nothing happens...another thing; 'spray bottles' are like this advanced science to people. you've seen these people turn the bottle upside down to spray their hair or their furniture or whatever the use of the bottle's contents suggests. it works for about two applications of the mechanism, and then they wonder why it stops. they'll never figure out that it is because, upside down, the suction device isn't drawing any liquid, because once they turn it right-side-up, it still doesn't work for another couple of applications while the straw is retrieving the solution.

when ann lived at nine greenbrian in not (by the time i lived there myself i had accepted defeat) there were two switches to the stairwell light. because of some...symposium of their nature...they could both be positioned in the traditional "on" in agreement with the light's status. but in order for the light to be "off", the switches had to be in disagreement. this was inharmonious to me, and it disturbed me nearly enough to lose sleep over. i wanted to fix it, and after an extensive study, i thought it could be done, but only if i brought in a second to stand at one end of the stairwell and flip the switch at the exact same time that i did. if it could only be done in exact unison, the problem would be solved forever! after a while, i even realized what had happened initially to upset the world's balance in this way: some persons unknown had to have done this. conspired to simultaneously switch the lights in order to upset the natural order in the exact way as the solution at which i had arrived.